In a revelation shocking theologians and intelligence experts alike, ancient scrolls unearthed in a Waffle House parking lot suggest that Jesus of Nazareth has been a CIA agent ahead of his time.
- Provoked unrest
- Destabilized the region
- In contact with a handler, codename “Father”
- Called for an air-drop of loaves and fishes
- Has uncanny ability to “disappear into crowds” whenever things got heated – a classic espionage move
- Faked his own death
- Has many good friends in the USA
The Vatican, the CIA, and the Waffle House have all declined to comment, citing “national security and breakfast policy protocols.”
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