MINSK, BELARUS – Russia and Belarus have announced their newest joint military exercise, VODKA-25, set to take place this autumn across several training grounds in Belarus.
Officials insist the name is “an acronym,” though no one has yet been able to explain what it actually stands for.
One Russian general suggested it means “Very Organized Drills, Komrade Army,” while a Belarusian colonel clarified that the “25” simply refers to the number of toasts expected per evening.
According to the official press release, VODKA-25 will test “combat readiness, joint coordination, and the ability to stay upright after prolonged exposure to celebratory beverages.”
Military units will reportedly practice advanced maneuvers such as “synchronized marching in a straight line,” “rapid response to empty snack tables,” and the highly classified exercise known only as “Operation Hangover Shield.”
Western analysts have expressed concern that VODKA-25 could escalate tensions in the region, though they admit much of the activity seems focused on potato-based logistics.
NATO sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, said they are “closely monitoring developments, but so far the only troop movements observed are between alcohol shops and toilets.”
Meanwhile, Belarusian state TV has already begun broadcasting heroic footage of soldiers preparing barrels of pickles and herring for the drills.
A spokesman proudly declared: “Our forces will demonstrate unmatched endurance, brotherhood, and liver capacity. Together, Russia and Belarus will show the world that no exercise is too large, and no shot glass too small.”
* Image: Youtube.com