COPENHAGEN, DENMARK – Denmark has officially dispatched 10,000 of its most elite Lego soldiers to defend Greenland.
The tiny troops, assembled late Tuesday night by highly trained children aged 6–10, were airlifted in a shoebox and strategically positioned along Greenland’s icy coastline, where they now stand bravely at attention with permanently painted-on smiles.
According to the Danish Ministry of Defense and Play, the Lego Brigade represents the pinnacle of Scandinavian military engineering.
Each soldier is equipped with interchangeable helmets, detachable hands, and a morale-boosting sense of optimism. “If one unit is damaged, we simply rebuild it stronger,” said a spokesperson while snapping pieces together. “This is warfare with infinite respawns.”
The soldiers are supported by an advanced fleet of Lego vehicles, including snow-capable ATVs, an LEGO icebreaker, and a command base featuring a radar dish that absolutely does not rotate smoothly.
Military analysts note that while the troops lack mobility in high winds, they excel in modular adaptability and can be reconfigured into either a defensive wall or, in extreme circumstances, a small café.
Officials in Greenland welcomed the deployment, noting that the Lego soldiers blend seamlessly with the local environment, provided nobody sneezes.
The brigade has already begun joint exercises, including “Operation Click-Clack Shield” and “Endless Reassembly Dawn.”
Denmark has assured the international community that the situation is under control, adding that if tensions escalate, they are fully prepared to release the nuclear option: the 100,000-piece set with no instructions.
*Image: Facebook.com/Jerry gillar