SANTA CLARA, CA – The White House has confirmed that President Trump is absolutely not skipping Super Bowl LX because he fears being seriously booed at the stadium by the Super Bowl fans.
Instead, insiders say there are many tremendous reasons President Donald Trump is skipping Super Bowl 2026.
- It’s called the Super Bowl, not the Super Trump. He prefers events named after him, or at least plated in gold.
- The Lombardi Trophy isn’t rectangular enough. Trump has long argued that trophies should look more like luxury condos.
- The halftime show is way too short. There’s simply no time for a speech that starts with football and ends with sharks and dishwashers.
- No team is named the Trump Towers. Multiple “tremendous” branding opportunities were reportedly ignored. Sad.
- He doesn’t trust referees in stripes. Stripes are suspicious, and many people are saying this.
- The stadium won’t allow his personal podium setup. One mic is never enough, and neither are three.
- Fans might cheer for someone else. Frankly, that kind of divided attention is unacceptable at a major event.
*Image: Flickr.com/Trump White House Archived