WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a surprise appearance on what aides described as a “totally unscheduled but deeply scheduled press moment,” former U.S. President Joe Biden confidently stated that the ongoing Iran conflict would have “never, ever happened” if he were still the acting President of the United States. I
“Folks, I know these guys,” Biden said, pointing vaguely toward a map that may or may not have been upside down. “You just gotta sit them down, offer a deal, a good deal, and boom – no war.”
The comments come amid a rapidly escalating conflict in the Middle East, where U.S. and Israeli forces have already suffered casualties and the situation continues to destabilize the region.
Biden, amazed about acting President Trump’s current Iran policy, questioned Trump’s approach: “Why no deal? Iran loves peace. Everyone says it. Tremendous lovers of peace.”
Some analysts pointed out that preventing a regional war has proven difficult for multiple administrations, regardless of who is in office. Biden waved off such concerns, replying, “Yeah, but did they try to negotiate and give them a good deal, may be the best deal ever? Exactly.”
At press time, sources confirmed that Biden had concluded his remarks by offering to personally “fix the whole thing in a weekend.”
*Image: AI-generated