GAZA, PALESTINE – Terror organization Hamas announced today that it has agreed to an eternal peace, but only under one peculiar condition: Sweden must never again allow climate activist Greta Thunberg to sail toward Gaza.
According to the official statement, Hamas leaders were “deeply moved by the concept of peace” but “emotionally scarred by the memory of Greta’s carbon-neutral voyage of doom.”
The group claimed that her arrival would have created “a media storm stronger than any Israeli airstrike,” adding that “no one in Gaza has the bandwidth – literally or emotionally – for another viral sailboat saga.”
Swedish officials were caught off guard by the unexpected geopolitical clause. The Ministry of Foreign Affairs released a cautious statement noting that “Ms. Thunberg operates independently of Swedish foreign policy.”
Although one insider admitted, “Honestly, if eternal peace depends on her staying home, we’ll buy her a kayak and keep it in Stockholm.”
Meanwhile, Greta herself responded in typically defiant fashion, tweeting, “How dare you deny the sea its purpose!” before reportedly beginning construction on a solar-powered submarine.
Analysts remain divided on whether this will jeopardize the peace agreement or inspire a new era of eco-friendly diplomacy at sea.
*Image: AI-generated